19 January 2012
On my heart
Sometimes God whispers and sometimes God shouts. I have been working on hearing his whispers lately. For example, today I was reading up on some blog posts and working on an email when my computer cut out, twice. After the second time, I heard "what about me." And I thought "OKAY God, I get it." I hadn't sat down and spent any time with him yet.
Last year my church did a sermon series on God's whispers and it got me thinking. If I expect God to govern the big decisions, then why don't I look for his guidance on the smaller decisions. Because I know he is there, whispering into my heart. I just need to slow down, quiet my heart and listen.
I keep myself so busy, I rarely have time to really just decompress and think. 90% of my time spent at work I am in a meeting or with students, the other 10% I am grading or planning. Because work starts so early, I don't have time in the morning to dedicate to God, and sometimes my afternoons are just as full as my day at work. Yet I know, that if I really tried, if I really wanted to, I could have plenty of time to sit and spend with God.
And then I actually sit down with God and I want quick answers and fast inspiration. I want to open my bible and say Yes God, I hear you. But often I open my bible, read for a while and think, HUH? I mean I have been reading this thing since I could read, and I still find so many passages that I am baffled by.
But this isn't the way God works. He works at His own speed, in His own time. He speaks through many means, and his words are not always loud. But they are there. He didn't give us the bible so we could just turn to it at a moments notice and find a quick bit of wisdom. He gave us the Bible because it is His Word and he wants us to ponder, love and live His Word.
Sorry if my thoughts seem disjointed. Sometimes my heart and my head don't know how to communicate well!